Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just crazy horny about you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
