Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
