I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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