The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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