And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
