Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
