i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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