dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
