Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
