I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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