yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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