I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize