woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
