Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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