Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
