even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
