My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
