I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
