normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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