Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
