Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize