we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
