i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
