so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
