you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
