in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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