yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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