I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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