I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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