And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
