I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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