Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
