I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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