They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
