When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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