dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Less talking, more tequila
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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