She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
