so that wasnt chicken after all
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
