it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize