Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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