yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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