she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
