Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
