should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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