If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
