Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
