WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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