I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
