i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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