You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
