Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
