I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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