Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
