There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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