she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
