Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
