So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
