I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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