what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
