i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
