There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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