dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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