Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
