the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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