i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
