I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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