Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
