I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
