"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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