I think I am morally bankrupt
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize