Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
