He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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