And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
